we are a pitiful bunch

I got to thinking this morning about this blog, this opportunity to log our thoughts, questions, remembrances and realized that I have not visited, much less posted, the blog in months. When I logged in I realized that no one else had either.

So, here I am, posting away!

So much is going on these days -- for all of us. I miss each of you, my beautiful daughters, so much. So much, that I can not conjure up a word or group of words that can adequately express the depth of this "missing you." I just know that it's a very deep ache eased only when I hear your voice, your laughter, a story from your daily life.

Yesterday I watched Fiddler on the Roof.

I know this statement will bring to mind many jokes about the movie: of how I "forced" you to watch it with me, memories of me singing "If I were a rich man" (perfectly in tune, of course!) and the interminible length of the movie (or so it seemed when you were lying on the couch, home from school, sick). But yesterday's viewing reinforced again how important this movie is, why I love it so. The devotion to family, to tradition, to God. The bond of a family in the midst poverty and faith. The pain of separation from those you love, especially when futures are uncertain. The laughter and understanding between family. The willingness to adjust your "tradition" to honestly serve the needs of those you love more than life itself balanced with the "line in the sand" that you must never cross. The struggle to live your faith when all the world around you is opposite of your faith - a struggle that I know is not new - because it is the struggle of the ages.

For this stage in my life I feel that my biggest struggle, the struggle that I know God will use to strenghten me, to make me more like Christ, is separation. It matters not the circumstances of the separation, I just know that what I must learn is the releasing of each of you into the capable arms of Jesus. I mean seriously, that's where you already are, where you've always been! I believe that the trust you have in God will be your lifeline, just as He has always been my lifeline.

I love you all and am eternally grateful for your love for me. Let's always be close in heart, interested in each other's lives, and ALWAYS ready to make the sacrifices it's going to take to be together.

I love you!

Mom